Moving On (Dominant Devils Mc Book 1) Read online

  "Thanks, CB. Now let’s bury the mushy bullshit and take this little girl to meet her daddy for the first and more than likely the last time," I told her.

  "You got it." She reached for the knob to open the door that would lead to a part of my soul dying. This situation was so fucked up. It's at times like this that I really start to question if there are really any gods. Either way, life goes on whether we bow the fuck down and crumble or stand the fuck up and grab it by the balls.

  If my brother taught me anything at all, it was to man up and move forward. That's what I intend to do for him and the family he left behind. I will do for him as he did for me all those years ago. It was time to man the fuck up.

  Madison

  I opened the door so that Happy could go on ahead. I wanted to keep far enough back to let him have his time with his brother, but be close enough for him feed off the support I was willing to give. I found a chair placed against the opposite wall of the bed Brookes lay still in. I tried to make my presence as scarce as possible while trying to hold back the tears that were fighting so hard to come. I listened as Happy introduced Octavia to Brookes. He made sure to tell Brookes about how the clubs had come together to support him even though he wasn't a patched member. I zoned out while he continued to have his one-way conversation with the shell of a man that was his brother laying in that bed. The one-sided conversation went on for twenty minutes or so before I realized the drastic emotional turn it had taken. Happy was choking out words in between sobs as I stood and went to stand beside him. As he spoke an all-consuming vow to his dying brother I place my hand on his shoulder showing support.

  "I vow that your girl will not lack anything big brother. As the gods are my witnesses I promise to make sure your girls have everything they need and most of, if not everything, they want. I will do anything to make sure they are safe. I plan on being the one to teach your baby girl to ride her first bike, to teach her to shoot her first gun, and to be the one who scares all the boys away. Then, when she finds that special one to share her life with, I will be the one who walks her down the aisle to give her away in your honor. I will be the over protective uncle. Trust when I say that between myself and Wall your girls will be taken care of. I need you to rest easy and know I will stand up for them the same way you did for me when I needed you. I love you brother. Please know your two girls will be my main priority forever and always. I will make sure your little girl never forgets her poppa and that she knows just how fucking awesome you are and will always be in my eyes.”

  Happy then looked over to me with tears in his eyes. "Thank you for helping me through this Madison. You think you could take our little diva for me. I need to get my shit together before facing everyone."

  "Sure thing Hap. I'll just take her and sit with him while you use the bathroom to pull yourself together. I doubt anyone will judge you for not having control of your emotions as I'm sure every one of those meat heads in that waiting room has snuck off to a private hallway or bathroom to let their emotions out today."

  With a nod of understanding, he turned and entered the private bathroom on the other side of the room. Once the door was closed I let my walls down. I cried for no less than ten minutes before a light knock sounded at the door. Trying to dry my eyes I got up to see who was at the door hoping to avoid disturbing Happy while he looked to find solace.

  I opened the door to find Throttle looking down on me. "I didn't mean to bother you two, but Carrin is starting to come around and she’s asking for you and Happy," Throttle whispered.

  "Okay, we'll be out in five." I quietly closed the door moving to the other door in the room. "Not sure if you heard but Carrin is awake and she's asking for both of us".

  "I'll be out in just a minute and we'll head over to check on her," I heard from behind the bathroom door.

  I took a seat again waiting for Happy to emerge. While I waited I unwrapped the little sleeping diva from her blanket cocoon wanting to make sure she had ten toes and ten fingers before facing Carrin. Something in my gut knew that would be one of her first objectives once she laid eyes on her. I felt the tears trying to creep out again. Fuck me! Pull your shit together Mads. Your best friend needs you. Your family needs you. They can't see you lose your shit right now. You can let yourself go when you get back home.

  I took a few cleansing breaths and waited in silence looking at the sleeping precious bundle laying in my arms. I felt a sense of peace fall over me and heard Brookes voice in my head saying, "take care of them Mads". I looked up quickly thinking he said it out loud but the only sign he was still breathing was the sound of the machines. I took that as a sign that Brookes would always be watching over us, causing a small smile to form on my face.

  Happy walked out of the bathroom silent as a mouse. He made his way to the door to the room opening it wide letting me step through before motioning for me to lead the way to the maternity floor. As we rode the elevator up I found myself sending out more silent prayers. Prayers asking for help to get my best friend through being a new mother and widow.

  Chapter 4

  Carrin

  I waited patiently for Madison and Happy to join all of us. I told the nurses to fuck off when they started asking my family to wait in the waiting room. If it wasn't for Susan being my doctor (she was making the staff give us some leeway) I believe the hospital would've had a riot on their hands. Susan understood that I needed to talk to everyone at once. I didn't have it in me to retell my story over and over again. I needed to get this out so that I could let myself fall apart. I keep replaying the last conversation I had with my husband over in my head.

  "Oh my god Brookes your bleeding," I all but yelled at him as I took in the mangled mess of my car.

  "Sssh, calm down baby. I need you to listen to me. I don't have much time to get this out."

  Looking over at Brookes while he tried to turn his head to look at me, I began to realize what he meant. I totally flipped my lid. "No baby. You can't talk like that! You can't leave me. I won't survive without you"!

  Taking a new tone to his already authoritative voice, "Stop it right now Care Bear! I need to get this out and I need you to listen to me. I mean really listen to me without interruptions."

  "When Whit and I took our little road trip many years back I never thought I would find somewhere to call home. I had planned on making a lifelong career of the Marines. Then we happen to stop in the Piggly Wiggly here in town and there you were working behind the counter. I knew right then I had to talk to you. I had to have you. I sent a little vow to the man upstairs telling him if he would just give me the chance to get to know you I would die a happy man. I never believed that one day you would become my everything, but you did. For that, I leave this earth with only one regret. Make sure Octavia knows that her daddy's last thoughts were of his two girls. Make sure she knows who I was."

  Trying to sound as calm as possible, "I will baby. I promise you. We will both love you forever".

  "I know you will, Care Bear, but don't shut your heart off to love. Promise me one day you will let someone in and love them just as much. My girls deserve to have someone who will be there for them and treat them like the Queens they are."

  "I promise you that I will try to love again when the time comes."

  "Good girl. Look after Whit for me. He has you two and the club now but I know if you guys let him he will shut down. Next to Octavia he's the last one standing in our family. He's gonna need you as much as you two will need him. Lean on each other baby."

  I stayed quiet not knowing what to say. If these were going to be our last moments on earth, I sure as hell wasn’t going to spend it arguing with him. I will promise him whatever it takes for him to find peace. He shocked me with his request:

  "I have one final thing to ask of you. I need you to promise me you will finish the nursing program. It's been a goal of yours since you were little. Make yourself happy Care Bear".

  "Brookes I feel so sleepy. I just need a cat nap. Please st
ay with me".

  "Carrin I need to you to stay awake for me baby. I'll let you know when you can rest. I need you to talk to me until the ambulance gets here baby".

  At that point, I could hear the faint sounds of sirens in the background and people talking outside the car. I heard them say something about the person in the other car was dead.

  Brookes drew me back to him with the final words he struggled to say to me. "Make sure you cremate me. I want to be put in the vault with you and Whit. I have no other family but you guys. Make sure someone notifies my old commander and Athena. Hopefully, my life insurance and my savings will be enough to purchase that little house by the falls we looked at. Please live for me, baby. I mean really live, Life is too damn short. They’re here baby you can sleep now. I love you forever and always Care Bear".

  That's when I blacked out. I remember waking up when I got to the hospital to Susan's voice explaining that she was getting the baby out by C-section. She told me she would be there with me the whole time and I made her promise to stay with Octavia until she was able to take her to Madison. From what I could tell in the thirty minutes I've been awake she stood true to that promise.

  The door to my room opened and I saw the group of a family crowding my small room split like the red sea allowing Madison to come forward holding a blanketed bundle. I couldn't speak while the tears just overcame me. As if some force of nature my baby girl began to cry at the same time. It's like both our hearts were breaking. Through the tears, I extended my hands to Madison for her to place my daughter in them.

  The room was completely silent as all the hardened burly biker men observed the emotional ordeal. I spoke up at that point, saying it to anyone who would hear me. "Octavia Brookes Manning welcome to the world baby girl".

  Around me, I heard sniffles and sobs. It's like those words released a flood of emotions everyone was struggling to keep contained. I continued to stare in awe at the little life laying in my arms as I spoke again.

  "I had a few minutes to speak with Brookes before I blacked out in the car. I can't tell you all everything from that conversation but I will give you a quick summary of my take on it". I paused long enough to pull the courage from deep within to continue.

  "Before anyone got to us, Brookes knew his time was short and he was okay with it. He never said anything about pain or not wanting to die. It was as if he accepted it and was ready. He made me promise to move forward and live my life with the help of all of you. He wants his daughter to know him, and who he was. He also told me to contact his old commander and Athena as he thought of them as a family.” I stopped long enough to take a few deep breaths before continuing. “Brooks wants to be cremated and placed in our family vault. When the time comes I'm to finish my nursing degree and take the money he left behind to purchase our little dream cottage by the falls,” I stated like I was reading it from a script.

  "I've never been the type to ask for help but I have no choice but to ask now. I ask that you all stand behind us and help us move forward. I'm telling you now not to hesitate to call me out on my emotional shit, for Brookes made it clear he didn't want me to fade away without him. I'm going to do my best and with the help from all of you, I know it won't happen. I will take today, however, to wallow in my self-pity and grief. I ask that every one of you let that happen because right now I need you all to support him. As much as I appreciate what the doctors have done by keeping him alive on that machine, we all know that the marine in Brookes would be kicking our asses for that. So please know I will be okay without you today while you take the time to say your goodbyes. I trust every one of you with mine and my daughter's life and I want you all to make sure that when you are in the room with him she is too. Give her the time with her daddy and when the time comes to let him go I want her in the room with everyone of you. I cannot be present because I have already said goodbye and let him go prior to coming to the hospital," I said taking a breath before finishing. I know it sounded rushed but it was all I could do to get it out.

  "Please know that I love you all and truly appreciate you being here as my family changes drastically today. With that being said please leave and take Octavia to her daddy".

  Madison

  With those words from Carrin, I stepped into action. I moved to the bed to lift a now cranky Octavia in my arms. I turned with a look daring anyone to say anything. That same look let them know that it was their cue to leave. When the last person walked out the door I turned to Carrin with one final question for my best friend before I would leave to let her fall apart in private.

  "I know you want to have the day to yourself and I will support you in that. I will care for Octavia as if she was my own don't you worry about that, but what I need to know is what to tell your mother when she finally gets here. I know Queenie will be completely upset coming back from her trip to this. You know she was against leaving before the baby was born anyway. I would hope that she would be able to keep the "I told you so" to herself, but I’m not sure if she has it in her. If I leave it up to your brother you know those two will just be in another screaming match and I think the tension around this hospital is already high enough. So I need to know whether or not you want to see your mother when she gets here"?

  "I hate to do this to you, Madison," Carrin strained to get out, "but keep her out of here today. I love her deeply but my nerves cannot handle Queenie right now".

  "I understand love. I will take care of it and I get that you need solitude today. I'm leaving this room, but I will not be leaving this hospital. If you need me at any time today all you need is to text me or have me paged. You’re not alone in this girl. I've got your back woman just like always. I love ya Care Bear".

  I knew her nod meant she understood so I turned to leave closing the door behind me to make my way to the nursery to get our little diva a few fresh diapers and bottles. It was going to be a long day and night saying goodbye.

  Chapter 5

  Athena

  "Commander Quin's office," I said into the telephone for what seemed like the hundredth time already today and it was only three o'clock.

  "Hello, is the commander available to speak," an unfamiliar voice said on the other end of the phone.

  "The commander is actually meeting with someone right now; is there something I could help you with"?

  "I'm not sure. I'm calling on behalf of Brookes Manning's family. Apparently he and the commander kept in touch regularly, that's why I have this number to contact him".

  I went on high alert as he said, "on behalf of Brookes Manning's family" not just Brookes. Oh my god that only could mean one thing. Was this Whit? It has been a year or so since I saw or spoke to him, although I kept up regularly with Brookes. I know his new wife was pregnant with a baby due any day now.

  "Is this Whit," I asked the man on the other end of the phone.

  "You know Whit? Shit, so I take it you must know Brookes if you’re asking about his brother".

  "I'm not exactly sure how to answer that formally but yes I know Brookes and Whit. I spent some time with both of them while Brookes was in the marine corps, sir. Would you care to enlighten me why the need for this call or would you rather leave a message for the commander? I'm not sure how long he will be behind closed doors with his latest meeting," I said hoping the mystery guy on the end of the phone would just say why he was calling.

  There was a long pause of silence on the line before he spoke again.

  "Dammit! I'm kind of at a loss ma' am on how to handle this but I need to fulfill a dead man’s wish".

  His words cut me like a knife. Other than Hart who I've been glued to since our stints in and out of foster care, Brookes was the closest thing to family I had. He and I went through basic together. If it wasn't for his faith in me I would never have made it through the Crucible. He was always there to back me and push me. Growing up an orphan and awarded to the state of South Carolina I never had anyone other than Hart be there for me until I met Brookes. I returned the same
favor to Brookes when he got the call that both his parents were killed in a botched B&E of their home. I stood behind him then and I will be there for him now.

  “Ok before I start to lose my shit can you tell me who you are? What dying man's wish? Why isn't Whit calling here?”

  His tone took another level as he proceeded to speak. "My name is Jacoby. My brothers call me Wall. Brookes is married to my sister Carrin. Whit isn't in his right mind to make this call right now. Physically Whit is fine but not so much emotionally. There was an accident this morning and Brookes is only partially alive because of a machine keeping him that way in order for those who love him to say their goodbyes".

  To say I felt like I was sucker punched in the gut would be an understatement. As much as I cared for Brookes I had never met Carrin. I've spoken to her numerous times and felt as if she was a friend. Not many women would be secure enough to allow their husband to have any type of a relationship with a woman, especially since she had never laid eyes on me. It was that moment it clicked. I needed to end this call and make my way to Great Falls. Having no real family meant no one to visit. Sure Hart and I would take a day here or there over the years to catch up but no real time off. I have plenty of time saved up and it looks like it would time to put it to use.

  "How long do we have before they pull his lifeline," I asked?

  "Carrin was adamant that he would not want to be kept alive that way and would like to let him go sooner rather than later. If you know Brookes, the way you seem to, I'm sure you would agree her assumption is correct," Wall told me sternly.

  "Yes, I would have to agree with her. Is there a number to which I can call you back? I'm going to break some rules and interrupt the commander's meeting. I know he would want the chance to say goodbye to a man of whom he thought very highly. Can you tell me exactly what happen so that I can pass it along," I said on the verge of tears?